Fatherhood in 200 Words #12 - Tom

This is part of our fatherhood in 200 words series where we asked dads to share a little about themselves, their most prominent memory of their first year of fatherhood, the best parenting advice they have received and a message for dads-to-be. Each answer was limited to 50 words and you find them here unedited and as given.


My names Tom and I live in Watford. I’m 28, and have been married to my lovely wife, Lucy, for 5 years. Our little boy, Oliver, is a year and a half. I work as a Housing Manager for a local authority, and I'm a keen musician. 

Prominent memory from first year of fatherhood:

Honestly, how much better it was than everyone said it would be! I was expecting to never have any sleep, have no money and no social life, and that wasn't the case. Instead, we became intentional about seeing family and friends, and making time for us as a couple.

Best fatherhood advice received:

Everyone gives you advice in the first few weeks/months, but I think my mother in law gave me the best advice. She told me to parent in my own way, and not compare myself to others. Parenting's not a formula to learn, its a relationship to build. 

Message for men expecting their first baby:

Don't panic! Yes your life will never be the same, but it changes for the better. Your life becomes about someone else other than yourself, and this is a hard learning curve. That being said, having another life entirely dependent on you teaches you about yourself, and realign's your priorities.